Jennifer Aniston is the latest pin-up for the united kingdom magazine Red – and the way. You know, I never thought I’d say this, but Jennifer is much, much prettier in candids than this posed and presumably Photoshopped cover shot.
Her nose looks huge, her mouth looks puffy, and the whole thing is just… unfortunate. I also feel like this shot – and the accompanying interview – is dated and budget. Aniston chopped off her hair nearly two months ago, and yet the shot has her with long hair? And dear God if the interview isn’t one of the most cloying and sycophantic things I’ve ever read.
The writer refers to her as “The Most Beautiful Everywoman In The World.” Ugh. You can read the full thing here (I wouldn’t recommend it if you just ate), and here are some of the highlights:
Jennifer Aniston is in bed. It’s 11 am and she’s chatting to Red from underneath her duvet in her Beverly Hills home. You can’t blame her. Newly flown home from a punishing promotional tour of Europe for her latest twinkling rom-com Just Go With It (where she unveiled a new shorter, brighter haircut), the star is understandably jet-lagged and exhausted.
‘I’m like a dead man walking,’ she says.
On her perfume, Jennifer Aniston: The Perfume: ‘I tried to collect all of the smells that I love in a bottle,’ she enthuses. ‘I kind of layer things on, whether it’s lotions or serums and oils – all the things you lather up when you get out of the bathtub and pamper yourself, all the things that make you feel really clean, sexy, sensual and refreshed. It took a while, but I think I got there and I’m very proud of the result. It’s a wonderful experience to work in perfumery and create something unique.’ She ponders her very favorite smell of all time and alights on a surprisingly less foamy aroma. ‘I love the smell of a fire going,’ she decides.
‘Walking up to a house and you can smell the fire coming out of the chimney. That’s extraordinary. That, and the smell of cherry blossoms. Or jasmine when you’re coming home at night in the summertime.’ When you wonder, does she think a man smells at his best? ‘At the beach,’ she smiles. ‘Just anywhere on the beach.’
Aniston on her inspiration: ‘that I buy to try to what I really like to try to, which is entertaining. It’s essential to me.’ It’s a talent that has made her one of the most influential women in Hollywood, with a personal fortune estimated by Forbes in 2007 at $110million. ‘The real core of everything is the work, and I will protect it – and myself – like a momma lion protects a cub,’ she says. ‘When I get down to business, I’m extremely focused.’
On making so many rom-com: ‘You know what? I think people just want to laugh,’ she decides. ‘There’s so much going on in the world right now weighing heavy on everybody’s minds and hearts, that you want to just get out there and disappear and be silly and have a laugh. At other people just being silly.’ She’s more than happy with her role as the bringer of that lightness. ‘I’ll sign up for that!’ she laughs. ‘I’ll bring you your order of light, coming up. Well, I’ll do my best. I always just do my best.’
The interviewer tells Aniston that she handles her fame with so much grace: ‘Oh,’ she says, startled. ‘Thank you, that means a lot to me. I try. Fame is an odd beast. Because it’s not real. There’s nothing real about it. Sometimes, you wake up and think, “I don’t know if I’m as big as this beast. Will today be the day when it gets me?” Because you’re only one person like everybody else, with veins and a heart, and yet you’re projected as almost superhuman. There are certain things that come with that – cameras in your face, lies, rumors, the part of you that wants to give, and the part you have to keep desperately to yourself. Because there’s so much that’s picked at or taken or wanted.’
Dating: At 42, Aniston is ‘extremely relaxed’ about her single status. Attempting to meet a partner in paparazzi-peppered Hollywood is, she says, ‘ridiculous’, but she negotiates the landscape as normally as she can. ‘You have to normalize it!’ she hoots. ‘You would die otherwise. But no, I’m not a big fan of dating. I have dinner with male friends and it’s instantly, “that’s the new man”.
The phone is ringing off the hook from your publicist saying, “Did you have dinner with so and so?” and it’s “yes, I did and no, I’m not”. So you sort of just meet people.’
The interviewer suggests Aniston run off with George Clooney and they have babies: I suggest to Aniston that there are two people who endure this pressure for marriage/kids more than anyone else in showbiz: herself and George Clooney. So perhaps she and George should run off together, get married, have three kids in rapid succession, and then the world would finally shut up. Aniston laughs uproariously. ‘That would definitely shut up the world!’ she guffaws.
‘I could call up George, say, “Hon, let’s just get hitched and have kids…” I should take George to lunch and that we can find out the way to put an end to all this… Ha! Well… No.’
On friends: ‘Where would you be without friends?’ she concludes, without a hint of comic intention. ‘Where would you be without people to pick you up when you need lifting? As we know, myself and tons of my friends, we’ve come from homes that were far away from perfect, so you finish up almost parent and sibling to your friends and vice versa.
Your own chosen family. There’s nothing sort of a really loyal, dependable, good friend. Nothing.’